The first week back to work is over and done with and I am exhausted! I was surprised how quickly I was able to get the two of us ready and I learned a valuable lesson. Do not put on your work clothes until after the baby has been fed. Yep, one whole outfit wasted due to baby puke but I digress.
I took some advice from Shan and told Joe I was treating myself to coffee after I dropped Mateo off and had it in my head that if I was going to cry to leave Jill's before the "big ugly cry" came on per Shan's advice.
At Jill's all was going well until I doubled back to give Mateo (who was still sleeping in the car seat) a kiss on the head and that's when the tears started. I told Jill and John I needed to leave and they both assured me he would be fine. Why do people assume the crying is because you're worried about your kid? Trust me, it's not. I have no worries about leaving Mateo with Jill, I just don't want to leave him period. That's the problem. I want to raise my son and spend the week with him not the people at work. (To the people I work with who read this blog, no offense :) ).
Anyway, I bolted out to the car and then completely lost it. It was awful. I managed to pull it together by the time I got to work but then a work friend decided to stop by my desk to welcome me back which made me start crying again. However, Jill called at 9:30 to tell me Mateo was having a great day and was full of smiles which made me feel so much better. Oh, and my crying episode evidently made Jill cry as well..oops.
The best part of the day was coming home and Joe bringing Mateo to the back door and the babe doing a double take when he saw me and then giving me the HUGEST smile ever. Wednesday when I dropped him off he was awake and when I handed him to Jill, he gave her a pretty big smile which made me feel great.
So, this is my new normal. Not the normal that I want but hopefully after this experience, I won't cry as much when he goes to kindergarten, right?
2 comments:
Oh, I would hold off taking any bets about kindergarten, lol. Don't tell anyone, but I even got teary-eyed when Corey went to first grade. You know, with the BIG kids and the big playground equipment? Ugh! (I might have even sprouted a tear while watching his senior portrait session... I'm blaming it on pregnancy hormones.)
Cheers to you for finding the happy parts.
Hugs :+)
I started crying when I walked into my office, so unfortunately, my tears were public. Ug!
It does get easier, but it never becomes easy to be mom who works away from her kids. You are not alone in this, as you know. We all support each other. No matter what you do, you are still a wonderful mom. Mateo knows that.
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